10 Holiday Faux Pas, Etiquette Guide

Plano Resident Teaches Protocol For Holiday Season
POSTED: 3:45 p.m. CST December 4, 2002
UPDATED: 4:40 p.m. CST December 4, 2002

FORT WORTH, Texas -- A look at the top 10 holiday faux pas, as compiled by etiquette expert Joy Weaver:

10. Making excuses when surprised by a gift: People make the situation worse when they make excuses or go overboard with apologies because they don't have a gift to exchange. Just say thank you and follow up with a nice note. You can always send a gift later. A wise move, though, is to be prepared and have several generic gifts on hand.

9. Married couples signing holiday cards with the husband's name first: The husband's first name should not be separated from his last name. Many people think the husband's name should go first as in John and Lisa Smith, but the correct way for married couples to write their name is: Lisa and John Smith.

8. Sneezing into your social hand: Your right hand is your social hand. You shake hands, pick up utensils and finger foods with your right hand. No one wants to shake hands with someone who has just coughed into this hand.

7. Asking someone why he or she is not drinking: There are many reasons people say no to cocktails, and often they are personal. There is no reason to put someone on the spot. If you are put on the spot, you can simply reply that you are the evenings designated driver.

6. Waiting until the last minute to RSVP: This gives an impression that you are holding out for something better and makes it more difficult for the hostess to make plans for the party.

5. Forgetting to attach a card to a hostess gift: Always take a hostess gift to a party with an attached card that has your name on it so the hostess will know who brought the gift.

4. Double dipping: Not only is it rude, but it can be a health hazard to dunk food into a dip after you have taken a bite of the food.

3. Not standing when being introduced. Whenever possible it is respectful to stand when being introduced men and women.

2. Leaving a holiday party and telling the host you have to go to another party: Thank the host for inviting you and for a wonderful time, then wish them a happy holiday season.

1. Thinking everyone loves your pet as much as you do: Many people are allergic to pets and do not want them hanging around during a holiday party.

Holiday Etiquette

The arrival of the holiday season conjures up thoughts of joyous gatherings of family and friends, sparkling lights and the exchange of gifts. The swirl of holiday parties, however, also creates the setting for public gaffes and awkward situations.

What do you do, for example, if a friend gives you a thoughtful present but you are empty-handed? "Graciously say, 'Thank you,"' says Weaver.

Don't make the scene worse by going overboard with apologies, Weaver says. Instead, follow up later with a nice note -- and a gift. Or plan ahead and keep a trove of generic gifts on hand.

It's Weaver's job, as founder of a business called Protocol Enterprises Inc., to guide clients through the often-confusing world of etiquette.

At any time of year, people commit social stumbles without even realizing their errors, Weaver said. Then there is the holiday season.

"We need more etiquette because are there so many more social events. There are so many more business events going on during the holidays," Weaver said.

"Everyone wants to have confidence when they go into social situations," she added. "When you are informed, you feel more confident. You're more refined, you're more polished."

Attending a holiday party? "Always, always, you should take a gift," she said.

Weaver charges $250 per person for the first five people in each class, or a discount to $175 per person to larger groups. Recently, she addressed an attentive gathering of the women's division of the Greater Irving-Las Colinas Chamber of Commerce.

Several tips resonated with attendee Sharon Johnston, including the advice to never give a hostess a gift without attaching a card. That way, Weaver explained, the hostess will know who to thank.

Johnston recently gave a dinner party for 25 and had to remember who gave what. "No one brought a tag."

Johnston, who gets 10 to 15 holiday invitations, said she would like to spread the word on Weaver's etiquette tips. "It's the non-thinking."

That includes a dreaded holiday faux pas that seems to occur whenever dips and chips or crackers are mixed: The double-dip.

While Weaver laughingly suggests posting a "No Double-Dipping" sign near dips to prevent guests at casual parties from dunking food into a dip after taking a bite, she begrudgingly acknowledges: "There's no way that you can prevent double dipping except what we did today -- word of mouth."

Also, Weaver said, it's important to remember moderation during the holidays.

"Moderation is the key in drinking, dressing, eating, gift giving," said Weaver, who anticipates giving about a dozen holiday etiquette sessions this season.

Morgan Williams, 14, of Plano, joined a group of participants ages 11-15 and took part in one of Weaver's etiquette sessions. His mother, Lisa Williams, organized the event. "I think every child there was hesitant to go," Williams said.

But she said that when it was over, the participants remembered everything they'd learned, and admitted it wasn't so bad.

Morgan learned not only the proper way to clap, but also what to do with all those utensils at fancy dinners.

And with Christmas dinner and a New Year's Eve party coming up, he can put his knowledge to use.

"I feel more prepared," he said, "so I won't look like an idiot."

On the Net: www.iprotocolinc.com

Copyright 2002 by nbc5i.com The Associated Press contributed to this report. All rights reserved.
This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.