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Save your reputation and still have a ball at the holiday shindigIs that Sally in the boss's lap?kim.mock@onlineathens.com
And the rest, as they say, is history. Or is it? Chances are, you remember those holiday parties where co-workers or neighbors made oh-so embarrassing social blunders. But this holiday party season, there are plenty of ways to have a good time at any holiday party and even preserve your reputation into the New Year - if you follow some basic party protocol. According to Debra Lassiter, owner of the Perfectly Polished etiquette school in Athens, minding your P's and Q's at a holiday party is more a matter of common sense than snooty courtesies. But there are also some guidelines to follow for attending a seasonal gala gaffe-free - and for building your reputation as a good guest and responsible reveler. ''Everyone wants to have confidence when they go into social situations,'' said Joy Weaver, founder of the Dallas-based manners program Protocol Enterprises Inc. ''When you are informed, you feel more confident. You're more refined, you're more polished.'' One of the first rules of party protocol? It's courteous to first accept or decline your party invite - immediately. As Lassiter said, it's impolite to give a last minute response to an invitation that requests a R.S.V.P. - a gesture that shows you are considerate of the feelings of your host or hostess. ''When you are invited to a party, you immediately should look at your schedule and respond as quickly as you can,'' Lassiter said. ''If it is a phone invitation, respond by phone. If it is a written invitation that does not include a phone number, your host is expecting a written response.'' Lassiter added guests should not bring along uninvited guests or children, unless the invitation specifies they are welcome at the event, and Weaver noted guests should bring a small gift to the host or hostess as a symbol of appreciation for the invitation. But proper party manners extend beyond the acceptance of an invitation. They also apply to proper dress - and behavior - for a social function. Etiquette experts recommend guests always dress appropriately for holiday parties or other social events. That means tight-fitting, revealing, too-casual or tattered clothing typically is not appropriate party attire, especially at holiday events with business associates. Lassiter recommended asking the host about proper attire (black-tie, casual or semi-formal?), but warned it is generally better to dress up than down when attending any social function, be it company-sponsored or not. ''If you don't know what to wear, or know what is appropriate, call the host,'' said Lassiter. ''What we try to tell our students is that it is better to be over-dressed than under-dressed.'' Lassiter said it's also better to arrive to any holiday party on time - and to exercise moderation for the duration of your stay. Moderation is especially key, she said, if alcohol is served. ''If it is a business event, be very careful about alcohol,'' Lassiter said. ''Remember, it is still business associates (you are with), and you want to limit your alcohol.'' Lassiter also recommends practicing moderation when it comes to party foods, which often are served at holiday fetes. Guests should note a party invitation is not a license to eat. ''You are invited to a party for your company,'' said Lassiter. ''It is so hard to eat and talk at the same time. ... You should speak to and interact with everybody you meet at the party, and that's hard to do if you're eating.'' Lassiter said invited guests should plan to stay at an event for only the allotted party times (usually noted on the invitation), and when it's time to leave, privately tell the host you must be on your way without mentioning you're headed to another bash. And, of course, after any shindig, Lassiter recommends writing your hostess a note to say how much you enjoyed her party. ''We all like to be included,'' Lassiter said. ''If you write that thank-you note telling your host how much you enjoyed her party, it shows you do like to be included and you likely will be invited to a future event.'' - The Associated Press contributed to this report. Published in the Athens Banner-Herald on Thursday, December 11, 2003. Click here to return to story: http://www.onlineathens.com/stories/121103/fea_20031211035.shtml |
