Sunday, December 8, 2002

Plano woman helps clients avoid holiday faux pas

By JAMIE STENGLE

Associated Press Writer

DALLAS (AP) - The arrival of the holiday season conjures up thoughts of joyous gatherings of family and friends, sparkling lights and the exchange of gifts.

The swirl of holiday parties, however, also creates the setting for public gaffes and awkward situations.

What do you do, for example, if a friend gives you a thoughtful present but you are empty-handed? A Plano woman volunteers her help.

"Graciously say, 'Thank you,'" says Joy Weaver.

Don't make the scene worse by going overboard with apologies, Weaver says. Instead, follow up later with a nice note -- and a gift. Or plan ahead and keep a trove of generic gifts on hand.

It's Weaver's job, as founder of a business called Protocol Enterprises Inc., to guide clients through the often-confusing world of etiquette.

At any time of year, people commit social stumbles without even realizing their errors, Weaver said. Then there is the holiday season.

"We need more etiquette because are there so many more social events. There are so many more business events going on during the holidays," Weaver said.

"Everyone wants to have confidence when they go into social situations," she added. "When you are informed, you feel more confident. You're more refined, you're more polished."

Attending a holiday party? "Always, always, you should take a gift," she said.

Weaver charges $250 per person for the first five people in each class, or a discount to $175 per person to larger groups. Recently, she addressed an attentive gathering of the women's division of the Greater Irving-Las Colinas Chamber of Commerce.

Several tips resonated with attendee Sharon Johnston, including the advice to never give a hostess a gift without attaching a card. That way, Weaver explained, the hostess will know who to thank.

Johnston recently gave a dinner party for 25 and had to remember who gave what. "No one brought a tag."

Johnston, who gets 10 to 15 holiday invitations, said she would like to spread the word on Weaver's etiquette tips. "It's the non-thinking."

That includes a dreaded holiday faux pas that seems to occur whenever dips and chips or crackers are mixed: The double-dip.

While Weaver laughingly suggests posting a "No Double-Dipping" sign near dips to prevent guests at casual parties from dunking food into a dip after taking a bite, she begrudgingly acknowledges: "There's no way that you can prevent double dipping except what we did today -- word of mouth."

Also, Weaver said, it's important to remember moderation during the holidays.

"Moderation is the key in drinking, dressing, eating, gift giving," said Weaver, who anticipates giving about a dozen holiday etiquette sessions this season.

Morgan Williams, 14, of Plano, joined a group of participants ages 11-15 and took part in one of Weaver's etiquette sessions.

His mother, Lisa Williams, organized the event.

"I think every child there was hesitant to go," Williams said. But she said that when it was over, the participants remembered everything they'd learned, and admitted it wasn't so bad.

Morgan learned not only the proper way to clap, but also what to do with all those utensils at fancy dinners.

And with Christmas dinner and a New Year's Eve party coming up, he can put his knowledge to use.

"I feel more prepared," he said, "so I won't look like an idiot."

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On the Net:

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